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BAND CAMP: Where the "Happy Meals" really taste different!

If your favorite "Naked News" channel got cancelled by your cable company this summer, who says dreams don't come true?
Check the members pages for news and information about "Band Camp"<wink> and stay in the loop!


NORTHAVEN RESORT HELPING TO FIND THE CURE!

D and A GO TO SAN DIEGO


This summer BAND CAMP members support D and A in their goal to raise enough to go to San Diego for the Susan G. Komen 3-Day walk for the Cure.

CART WASHES-RAFFELS-JAIL BAIL OUTS

HELP SUPPORT THEM IN THIER GOAL!

NORTHAVEN RESORT SUPPORTS OUR MEMBERS AS WELL!
WE LOVE YOU KAREN!!!

SAVE THE BOOBIES
STILL ANOTHER!!

    

Hi this is Margaret
Fact: 1 in 8 woman will find out they have breast cancer. Our logo is SAVE OUR BOOBIES. We make the hats to help raise money to meet our monetary goal for the walk. If you are interested in buying a hat you can e-mail her at
mharris0128@sbcglobal.net.
If you would like to visit the breast cancer web site go to
www.the3day.org.


JEFFS REMINDER THAT THE “OTHER HEAD” NEEDS PROTECTION AT BAND CAMP

REMEMBER JEFF ? HE STILL HAS HIS FAVORITE CHOICE OF PROTECTION WHEN HE WAS A “BAND CAMP” MEMBER BEFORE HE MOVED SOUTH!  Rumor has it he is MUCH better in bed now than when at Northaven Resort and hardly ever falls out but likes to wear this autographed helmut as a nostolgic reminder of the couples that helped him up after the dances!


BEWARE !!
AN EMERGING BAND CAMP GANG
THE NEW "SARAN WRAP" ANGELS



SINGING The Northaven Scout Song
(see more of Tiffanie, click here)

Oh I wish I was a little golf cart…golf cart

Oh I wish I was a little golf cart…golf cart

I’d hold all the naked asses,

See the winks and flirty passes,

Oh I wish I was a little golf cart…golf cart.

 

Oh I wish I were the clubhouse stripper pole…stripper pole

Oh I wish I were the clubhouse stripper pole…stripper pole

I’d get all the naughty rubbin’

Getting wet, and sometimes cummin’

Oh I wish I were the clubhouse stripper pole…stripper pole

 

Oh I wish I were a little blue luge…blue luge

Oh I wish I were a little blue luge…blue luge

I would enter in the race,

And I’d beat Dave at first place

Oh I wish I were a little blue luge…blue luge

 

Oh I wish I were a little shot of Hootch…shot of Hootch

Oh I wish I were a little shot of Hootch…shot of Hootch

I’d know the answer to the quiz,

When Mick shouts, “Hootch, there it is!”

“Hootch, there it is!” “Hootch, there it is!” “Hootch, there it is!”

Oh I wish I were a little shot of Hootch…shot of Hootch

 

I wish I were a little jagerbomb…jagerbomb

I wish I were a little jagerbomb…jagerbomb

I’d stay cold at Dan and Lisa’s

And I’d make you fall to pieces

I wish I were a little jagerbomb…jagerbomb

 

I wish I were a little Hill Hellion…Hill Hellion

I wish I were a little Hill Hellion…Hill Hellion

I’d fill my glass to the rim,

And do a shot with Biker Jim

I wish I were a little Hill Hellion…Hill Hellion

 

I wish I were a part of Pond Scum…Pond Scum

I wish I were a part of Pond Scum…Pond Scum

I’d be one of the couples,

Causing hell for Larry Buckles

I wish I were a part of Pond Scum…Pond Scum

 

I want to be Miss Nude Northaven

I want to be Miss Nude Northaven

I would strip!!!



Who says this place won't make you fall in all over again!
I would be a little leery of inviting the ex out, unless your paying alimony, then tell their latest infatuation you will spring for the tab in that new hot tub park model!

TRY IT NAKED THIS TIME
(CLICK HERE)


    

TAIL GATE PARTY..NORTHAVEN STYLE




SHOCK & AWWWWE CLUB

Charter Members October 1st, 2007
Your official Membership cards will be in the mail shortly!

CONNIE P, MICHELLE G, DAVE AND KIM, ART S, MARK W, BEV W, KIM S, DEREK M, JOY S, BETH S,
JEFF T, LEIANNE T, MR.NUDE RANDY, LARRY B., PACKO, RON T, DARCY D, RON t, DAVE ?, BIKER JIM.


NORTHAVEN RESORT TANGO TEAM
THANK YOU SUZY and the MEMBER TEAM

With EXTREME pleasure, Northaven Resort would like to thank Suzy and all the members that participated in the Tango routine during the Mr. Nude Northaven Contest.
Their many hours of dedicated practice will be remembered and appreciated for a long time.

 



How to tell if you might be at Northaven – performed by Joe Notworthy at the GONG SHOW.

If you think the Ms. Nude contest is the most important event of the year…
… you might be at Northaven.

If you go all weekend without wearing any underwear…
… you might be at Northaven.

If you have more miles on your golf cart than you do on your car…
… you might be at Northaven.

If you ask your husband, "Does this sunburn make my ass look big?"…
you might be at Northaven.

If you've ever gotten so drunk that the only words you can say are "HOOCH, There it is!"…
… you might be at Northaven.

f you've ever worn a Swingers Scoreboard t-shirt to the Country Market…
… you might be at Northaven.

If your apple pie comes in a bottle…
… you might be at Northaven.

If you've ever had to call time out during a volleyball game so you could remove the sand from your butt crack…
… you might be at Northaven.

If you want to modify your blue tank into a downhill racer…
… you might be at Northaven.

If you've ever had to borrow a quarter from Velma so you could take a shower…
… you might be at Northaven.

If you've ever held a meaningful conversation with Merri Beth Mannequin…
… you might be at Northaven.

If you're not offended when someone calls you a "trunk slammer"…
… you might be at Northaven.

If you've ever had sex with the blinds open because you know the neighbors like to watch…
… you might be at Northaven.

And finally, if it just keeps getting Gooder and Gooder…
… you might be at Northaven.


MAY 2007  CONGRATULATIONS KIM
It's always a pleasure to brag about one of our members. Those of you that were present at the APPLE this fall remember Kim winning the Best Female Costume but she also won the MILF MAKEOVER TITLE at the Apple this spring and here she is at HEDO in Jamacia this year!
GREAT JOB KIM !
She continued to be a Northaven Star.. winning the Ms No Swimsuit Contest in Jamaica in 2010!
(Click here to see details)

     


TIM AND RENEE WRITE:
NORTHAVEN IS CHEAPER THAN PSYCHOTHERAPY AND A WHOLE LOT MORE FUN !
 
SANITY
By Tim and Renee
2007
AS WE SIT WITH GREAT ANTICIPATION
THOUGHTS OF WONDER SWIRL
HOW COULD IT HAVE BEEN JUST ONE YEAR AGO
THAT WE NEVER KNEW THIS WORLD?
HIGH ON HOOCH!! AND PHEROMONES
WALKING DOWN TIKI-LANE
WE GAZE INTO EACH OTHERS EYES
AND QUESTION IF WE’RE INSANE
AS MY EVIL TWIN GOES FLYING BY
HER LAUGHTER ECHOS THROUGH THE TREES
WE ARE HEADED TO THE DANCE
WOW! ANOTHER ONE OF THESE!
PONDERING THE ISSUE OF SANITY
AS WE WALK THROUGH THE DOOR
WE REALIZE WE ARE INSANE
FOR NOT DOING THIS BEFORE !!!

SO WE GREET AND MEET AND GREET AGAIN
DIRTY DANCING ON THE FLOOR
THE BEADS OF SWEAT ROLL DOWN A BREAST
OH GOD, NEED I SAY MORE?

SO RAISE YOUR GLASS AND GRAB YOUR LOVER
TWO OR MAYBE THREE
LETS DRINK TO LIFE
LETS DRINK TO FRIENDS

LETS DRINK TO SANITY


For those 25 couples that were able to attend the clam bake and squirrel fry, it has been a real chore to walk by a pot of split pea and hamster soup without thinking "What a great meal that would make"! The squirrels at camp are not in any eminent danger of being put on the endangered species list after last years' harvest of three and leftovers of two and a half.


NOT FUNNY
Whomever put up the sign on the front gate, "FORT DICKS", almost got identified by our security cameras. That ski mask and trench coat got past us this time.


"IT'S THE GREENHOUSE EFFECT OFFICER, THAT’S WHY I'M NOT WEARING PANTS."

Well, that might have got you off the hook in a 1980's arrest during "Earth Day" but we want to give you all a gentle reminder to cover up when you empty your trash at the front gate.  The pizza delivery guy didn't seem to mind much last year and actually looked forward to the numerous runs to the entrance.  Rumor has it his mom made him get a real job and is taking over the route and her brother is the local cop. Bail is high!



A Northaven Philosophy

There are a lot of reasons why the resort has continued to flourish and grow. The continued success is due to our members. Northaven Resort continues to nurture a clothing optional lifestyle philosophy that has allowed the members and guests to successfully escape the conflict and drama that continues to plague those living outside our gates.

Most members find that they continue to follow our philosophy in the vanilla world when they leave. They try to be cheerful and treat others with respect. They share unselfishly and try to help others where they can and try not to judge each other. What happens naturally at Northaven is sometimes difficult to do in that complicated life on the outside.

Northaven Members don't try to live life here in great big torrents while here. They live their lives a weekend at a time, taking small steps.  If you need BIG DRAMA, go get a Quentin Tarantino DVD and watch it or read War and Peace by the pool. You really can't have that in your Northaven experience and be happy here. You can only do one thing at a time and be happy.

You can escape the cruel world outside the gates because the Northaven Resort philosophy shows you that constantly striving to be triumphant will not work for you to be happy. Aspiring to be top dog, to be dominant, to always be a winner does not work for us. It is a life for animals, more suitable for raccoons.

Raccoons carry on their great battles in the spring to win the most beautiful female and then hold on to her for a couple years until some young raccoon comes up and drives him off with big bite marks in his butt, driving him down into a culvert by the road. Then he lays down there weeping for his sad life, bleeding until finally after dark, out of despair, he crawls up on the road and hurls himself into the path of oncoming headlights.  He dies and his body lies there for days being pecked at by crows. His children go on and lead the same misbegotten life that he did and nobody misses him. Nothing is learned from this. This is not a life for those in the lifestyle. This is for those lives outside our gates in that other world.

Northaven Members as a group feel we were meant to be civilized people and meant to enjoy the good things of life, the small things of life that makes us happy. To love our neighbors as much as they will let us. To be loved so that nothing else really matters each weekend compared to that. We strive to live good lives, to eat well and to drink well and dance well, sometimes. We take long walks, we share what we have and forgive others for not being as perfect as we are. We do this so when we get to be old and when that first BIG heart attack comes up and hits us in the chest, it gets our attention, but we don't feel as if everything has been in vain up to that point like raccoons.
THAT is the Northaven Resort philosophy. To live your life in small weekend increments. Taking short views trusting in gods principles and be happy WITHOUT forcing our lifestyle on others and for the most part, rarely tell anyone where they go to accomplish this. They wouldn't believe us anyway.

The smart people are NOT the people on the stage at the front of the room.
The smart people are the ones quietly sitting in the back of the room by the exits.


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